A minor rant on people who make blogs about their babies.

Well, there I am, clicking the "next blog" button on my blogger bar. And guess where the fuck do I land - that's right, on a blog someone made for a god damn baby of theirs. And, as it happens often, I do not barf from the cuteness. I barf from the "what the fuck were they thinking?!". Seriously. No one except you care about your kid. I believe George Carlin made himself clear.



Video thanks to AmmonRa801.

The Week of Torture

It's really sucky in the week before half term. People press you to work, and when you're done and go back home, you fall down so tired you won't make a jack shit out of the universe, head full of trigonometry, reading between lines and ozone layer, trying not to forget that there's some stupid process called 'learning' going on. I love to learn, but it really sucks. This term was exhausting. Heat, pressure, fucking spring outside.

News Update: Damn.

I was working on Star Trek review, but then the video editor started crashing and freezing so often that it became impossible for me to edit it any more. 15 minutes into the film, and fucking Edius crashed! I'll never use a trial version of a video editor again! Agrh! I need new computer!

For Coming Soon, there's a definite list of my reviews I'm going to do by the end of June:

1. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (filmwatching in progress)
2. Spiderwick Chronicles film
3. Gamer
4. Star Trek (still text only)
5. Avatar (I'm still digging through all the news about plagiarism)
6. Star Trek - The Next Generation (the WHOLE series, folks!)

News Update: Coming Soon

The voice-over review of Star Trek 2009 is on its way. Meanwhile, I'd like to present a new coming soon list of my reviews.

1. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
2. Spiderwick Chronicles (the film version)
3. Gamer

The reason I dropped Avatar off is that I'm going to wait for the sequel and review them both in one article.

Short note on Robert Cormier's "Heroes".

I got this book to read in my English class. It's kinda OK. There's that Francis guy who returns after war with face injuries and wants to kill other guy, LaSalle, because... I didn't get there yet. This is a successful attempt at writing a complex plot in a bitesize form for children and... teenagers? Believe it or not, this book is actually described as "young adult novels" by Wikipedia, but then again it might be my biased point of view because I first read DaVinci Code when I was 11, and I enjoyed.

Tidbit: Google Wave Down For Maintenance... FTW!

I've been using a preview of Google's new web app, Google Wave. It's for collaboration. It's not e-mail, it's not chat, it's not a forum... it's wave. You have to see it for yourself.
So Wave is down for maintenance, and they have this message on their site.

Press "Read More" to see it...

Exams, delays and how Word sucks and stuff

Hi people, it's lamp-ARR-ski here, with a news update and other crap.

Next week will be pretty busy for me, because the exams are coming up, and yeah, I need to study, so the lamp-ARR-ski reviews will be delayed — but after the exams, I'll return, possibly with voice-over reviews. They won't come as often as text reviews, but way more interesting. You won't be able to say "tl;dr" now, thankyouverymuch.

Film Review: American Godzilla (1998)

Godzilla – The American Monstrosity

And now it's retro time on lamp-ARR-ski Reviews.

Do you remember the 90s? All the new, cutting-edge CGI technology advanced to sack half of the model builders and stop-motion animators and those people who made special effects possible, in favour of the new nerds and geeks, also known as the CGI artists. Those where the happy days when effects didn't have to be too realistic to be great. So, remember when Stargate came out? I don't – because I was born shortly after. But I watched it on a DVD recently, and boy, did it suck. I mean, I liked the film as a whole, but this pyramids built by aliens concept was just crazy and fucked up. No Egyptian geniuses, no architectural wonders, no calculations – just aliens.

Then, Independence Day came out. And boy, did it suck. This time, the only upside to this film was the visual effects, which were very neat for their times, so I won't write too much about it.

Then, few years after I was born, Godzilla came out, from the producers of Stargate and Independence Day, or should I say, people held responsible for those films. The only reason people actually went to see this film was the advertising strategy. We never see the whole monster in the trailers, so we go to the theatres, just for the sake of our curiosity. And yeah, you guessed it – it sucked balls. So, let's dig into American Godzilla of 1998, shall we?

News update: Coming soon

Just to let you know, I'm halfway through with the Godzilla review. I'll post it not later than this weekend, although I hope to post it earlier. This will be a longer one, since I wanted to review it in detail, so it will take time.
Therefore, the coming soon list looks like:

1. American Godzilla [DONE!]
2. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
3. Spiderwick Chronicles
4. Avatar

And please, before you send me hate mail about Avatar, think again, because this film is not as good as many people think. I personally love Avatar, but there are few things that are just total nonsense.
That's all for now, lamp-ARR-ski out.

News update 3/05/2010: Upcoming reviews, request a review and whatnot.

 Hi, lamp-ARR-ski here. From now on, I will accept requests for films/books/comic books/certain games to review. In this news update, you'll find list of upcoming reviews, criteria for request a review, and information regarding voiceover/video reviews I might start doing soon.

Review: Doctor Who New Season 5 Episodes 1, 2 and 3

Five years ago, when Doctor Who franchise was rebooted with nice CGI and Christopher Eccleston, most of the fans were delighted to see it again. Now, with the season 5, there are questions about Doctor Who franchise. For example, why new sonic screwdriver? Why does interior of the TARDIS look like inside a fairytale dream or acid trip? Why does the time vortex look like hell? And the most of all, why the hell new Daleks? Let's find out, for this is The First Three Of New Season Five of Doctor Who.