Artemis Fowl review

There are things that can go in two ways only: be fucked up in a retarded manner, or be one of the few little gems. One of these things is writing a fictional book in a style of a character's biography. Daniel Handler did it well, because he took the guise of Lemony Snicket. Eoin Colfer is doing it wrong, because he took a guise of Eoin Colfer. Granted, Artemis Fowl's concept is pretty good, which portrays the bad guy as the protagonist, but...

Fairies, not Jedis.

The thing about Artemis Fowl is that it takes a good concept, mixes it with sci-fi superimposed on fantasty and wraps in half-assed writing. It's like taking strawberries, mixing it with fairy diarrhoea and then wrapping it in toilet paper. And call it dumplings.
Now, to be fair, the action scenes are pretty good, and if you don't mind the antagonists being fucking fairies, it's a really good police-versus-criminal type of story. Almost. Because I still can't get over them fairies stuff. Damn, this fairy concept is retarded. Really. I've seen good sci-fi + fantasy fusions before (eg. Snow Crash, Discworld, hell, I even wrote one), but this is so over-the-top. But hey - there are always good sided to everything, such as the graphic novel.

Pictured: Author's suggestion of what to do with this franchise.

Yeah. There's more.

I'm lamp-ARR-ski, burning bad books in the toilet bowl.

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