Artemis Fowl review

There are things that can go in two ways only: be fucked up in a retarded manner, or be one of the few little gems. One of these things is writing a fictional book in a style of a character's biography. Daniel Handler did it well, because he took the guise of Lemony Snicket. Eoin Colfer is doing it wrong, because he took a guise of Eoin Colfer. Granted, Artemis Fowl's concept is pretty good, which portrays the bad guy as the protagonist, but...

Fairies, not Jedis.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of Fucked Up Ideas

Cover via Amazon

Indiana Jones, the icon. Since The Raiders of the Lost Ark, it had equal number of fans as Star Wars, maybe because both franchises star Harrison Ford, or maybe because both of them are awesome. George Lucas again shown us how to make a film – and it was not Howard the Duck. Of course, I watched all three of them, and, of course, I thought that it's too bad they won't make another one. That was until 2008, when they announced Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull.
Thus, when the news reached me, I obviously went to the cinema and…

Review: Doctor Who New Season 5 Episodes 1, 2 and 3

Five years ago, when Doctor Who franchise was rebooted with nice CGI and Christopher Eccleston, most of the fans were delighted to see it again. Now, with the season 5, there are questions about Doctor Who franchise. For example, why new sonic screwdriver? Why does interior of the TARDIS look like inside a fairytale dream or acid trip? Why does the time vortex look like hell? And the most of all, why the hell new Daleks? Let's find out, for this is The First Three Of New Season Five of Doctor Who.

Film Review: The Invasion [2007]

Cover of The Invasion [Blu-ray]

How could they fuck up the Body Snatchers?

I never reviewed a film before, but after watching The Invasion, 2007 remake of "The Invasion of Body Snatchers", I really feel like it. See, there are some certain things that change the way you think about world, media, or our culture. The Invasion is definitely one of them. I'd say it's that kind of thing you wish you hadn't touched. It's not bad, it's just boring. And boring is the keyword for this review.
I've seen many boring films and episodes, like all 5 seasons of Lost or those 30 boring me shitless episodes of Star Trek TNG, some films from Bland Shit 101, but never. Ever. Experienced. This... rip-off of rip-offs, this...this...mass of unadulterated blandness this film brings about! I mean, HOW COULD THEY FUCK UP BODY SNATCHERS?